Does She Like Me?

Hey Rick,

I Really Like Melody. She Is Absolutely Beautiful. We Met When I Was 17 And She Was 15. At The Time I Felt She Was Too Young, But Now I’M 30 And She’S 28. We Only Seem To Bump Into Each Other At Mutual Friends’ Funerals, And I Didn’T Think It Was Right To Pursue Her At The Funerals Out Of Respect For My Departed Friends. But I Can’T Stop Thinking About Her.

Off To A Good Start:
We Exchanged Numbers A Few Months Back And Said We Would Meet Up. She Told Me She Was Single And I Want To Believe Her But Find It Hard Because She Is So Nice And Stunning In Every Way. We Eventually Got Together But Didn’T Really Have A Plan Since We Were Both Feeling Pretty Fragile From A Funeral The Previous Evening. So We Just Drove Around And Talked, And Ended Up Going To A Movie. She Was Being Really Tactile As We Walked Down The Street, Holding My Arm As I Held The Umbrella. It Was Really Romantic Walking In The Rain With Her And She Was Giving Me Plenty Of Signals, And I Felt A Real Connection With Her.

When I Drove Her Home We Kissed In My Car, Then I Walked Her To Her Door And We Kissed Again. I Texted Her That It Was Really Good To Get To Know Her More, And That I Was Looking Forward To Seeing Her Again. I Don’T Pressure This Girl At All And Try To Always Keep The Conversation Light And Funny. I Try To Stay A Challenge By Not Always Returning Her Calls Immediately.

She's Ignoring You:
Now, What Happened Was, Some Time Ago, I Asked Her What She Was Doing For The Weekend And She Said She Was Going Away For A Week To Europe. I Wished Her A Good Time But Haven’T Seen Her Since. This Was A Month And A Half Ago, And Although We Have Spoken Once Or Twice A Week On The Phone Or Texted Since She Got Back, She Has Never Set A Date To Meet Again. There Was A Period Of Two Weeks When She Didn’T Even Answer Two Of My Phone Calls Or Texts. I Deleted Her Number Because I Am Not A Chump Who Will Chase A Woman Who Doesn’T Want To Be Chased. Finally I Sent Her A Message On Facebook: “Why The Silence? Have You Lost Your Phone Or Something?” She Immediately Texted Me That She Was Sorry For Not Calling, Her Uncle Had Passed Away And She Was All Over The Place, Getting Drunk, Etc., And Not Getting Back To Anyone.

We Have Spoken Once Or Twice Since, But I Don’T Know What To Do Now. Am I Wasting My Time? Is Melody Interested In Me At All? How Can I Find Out If She Likes Me The Way I Like Her?

Fish - Who Has It Bad

Hi Fish,

Wow, Man, Your Friends Must Live A Hard Life If They’Re All Kicking The Bucket At 30! It’S Not Like You’Re All 80 Years Old Or Something. Like My Cousin Brother Love Down In Watts Says, “Dawg, You Better Take It Easy Or Run With A Different Crowd!”

You Might Find It Hard To Believe That Melody Is Single, But It Doesn’T Matter One Way Or The Other. When You Use The Principles Of "The System," You Cut Right To The Heart Of The Matter. You Call The Girl Up And Ask Her Out. If She Says Yes, She Digs You. If She Says No, She Doesn’T. Simple As That.

Always Have A Plan:
You Shouldn’T Be Going Out With Melody Right After A Funeral If You Are So Affected By It. To You Psych Majors, You Should Be Upbeat And Positive When You’Re Out With A Woman. And Driving Around And Talking And Drifting Into A Movie Theater Isn’T A Date. It’S Only A Weak Excuse For One. You’Re Not Organized At All, Pal. You Should Have Had A Plan With Melody. The Whole Idea Behind My Book Is To Have And Follow A Game Plan. So Apparently You Don’T Have My Materials.

You Might Have Felt A Connection To Melody, My Friend, But The Important Question Is Whether Or Not She Felt A Connection To You. Or Was She Just Crying On Your Shoulder Because A Good Friend Cashed In His Chips?

Kissing Melody All Over The Place Was An Error. You Shouldn’T Be Smooching This Babe When You’Re Coming Out Of A Funeral. Like My Cousin Rabbi Love Says, “You Don’T Make Time With A Woman At A Funeral. It’S Not Kosher.” Then You Started Talking About The Future And How You’D Like To See Her. Tell Me Something: Why Isn’T Melody Texting And Phoning You? Why Are You Doing All The Pursuing? You Don’T Know The First Thing About Challenge, Fish.
But You Claim That You Didn’T Pressure Melody. No, You Just Tell Her How Much You Like Her, That’S All. And While You Might Not Return Her Calls Immediately, You’Re Blowing Challenge In Other Areas. 

She's Not Into You - Here's Why:
Now Let Me Get This Straight. You Were Making Out With Melody, Then She Split To Europe For A Week And You Didn’T See Her For A Month And A Half. Like My Cousin Fast Eddie Love From East L.A. Says, “Oh, Yeah, This Chick Is Really Gone Over You!” And By The Way, She Isn’T Supposed To Set The Date To Meet Again. The Man Is The Date-Maker. Again, It’S Obvious That You Don’T Have My Book.

Now Let Me Ask You This: What Does It Tell You That Melody Doesn’T Respond To Your Messages For Two Weeks? Well, It Must Mean That She Can’T Afford The Time Since It Would Take 20 Whole Seconds Out Of Her Life. That’S A Lot To Ask A Person. It’S Like Giving Someone A Book And Asking Them To Read It. Wake Up, Fish!

But You Swear That You’Re Not A Chump And A Desperation Chaser. Dude, You’Ve Been Chasing This Girl All Along. And When You Sent Melody That Facebook Message, You Were Begging. Fish, Don’T You Think She Got Your Earlier Messages? You Haven’T A Clue, Man. In Fact, You’Re The King Of Telephone Blunders!

But Melody Had An Excuse For Not Getting Back To You: Her Uncle Died. Like My Cousin Sal “The Fish” Love Says, “Does This Babe Come From A Mafia Family Or Something?” Yes, You’Re Wasting Your Time With Melody. You’Ve Been Wasting Your Time For Two Months, Guy. Melody Is Not Interested In You At All. How Can You Tell If She Likes You As Much As You Like Her? Simple -- By Reading Her Actions, Not Her Words. And Like The Old Chinese Saying Goes, “Her Actions Speak Volumes.”

Remember, Guys: If You Leave Two Messages And She Doesn’T Call Back, You’Re Out.

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